1. |
Forked Tongue
02:58
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Sun-bleached knockout roses up on the hill
Charcoal clouds are looming still
Getting so old but I feel so young
Trying to break your heart
and fork my tongue
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2. |
Color In
03:23
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When god closes a door, she opens the window
Then climbs on through into the smokey room
Blurs the lines between magical and madness
Throws up in a trash can next to you
My timeline might be a little hazy
When did it begin and begin again ?
Singing the wrong words to every love song
Just outline what’s true and color in
The reason to go to war with my ego
Why our overgrown garden’s still in bloom
She’s tired from holding all the time & space
I’ve never seen eyes quite that shade of blue
Try to be her king, her ring, or crutch, or fuck or anything
Or just a dose of oxytocin skin to skin
While I’m writing the wrong words in every love song
Just outline what’s true and color in
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3. |
Ghost
04:58
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They say,
They say, That blood is thicker than water
I disagree
When it comes to my father
The Blood gets pretty thin
Mixed with alcohol and methamphetamines
They say,
The apple don’t fall far from the tree
Like Inherited disease
Or bipolar genes
From my next of kin
When it’s nature vs. nurture no one wins
They say,
Like father, Like son
I’m 29
With 2 blue lines
You’re 45
Strung out and high
My future children on the way
Trying to imagine what I’d say
About you
Grandpa Joey can’t come play
He overdosed today
I see their devastated face
So I …
I ghosted you
Couldn’t find the words to say
You know it’s better off this way
They won’t know you
So I ghosted you
You ghosted me too
I wouldn’t want it any other way
I’m happy you didn’t stay
I don’t owe you
So I ghosted you
They say
They say, That blood is thicker than water
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4. |
Brothers
05:08
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We drove 16 hundred miles
Across our home state
Through altered states of consciousness
Lit fires along the way
Echoes through the canyons
Stood staring in awe
Watched the children watching
The wonder of it all
In what they saw
With no words
At all
I’d call you brothers
Our faces aglow from the flame
But it doesn’t feel quite right
There’s got to be a different name
Cause we’ve all got brothers
But it’s not the same
You’re not the family I was born with
You’re the family that I claim
Saw the years in the millions
Laid bare at our feet
Down the winding roads
Like the river to the sea
Echoes through the canyons
Counting wild sheep
Ruminating science fiction
While the children dream
Of what they’ve seen
With no words
Just free
I’d call you brothers
Our faces aglow from the flame
But it doesn’t feel quite right
There’s got to be a different name
‘Cause we’ve all got brothers
But it’s not the same
You’re not the family I was born with
You’re the family that I claim
Like echos through the canyons
Like ripples in the streams
Through the highs the lows
And the in-betweens
Like echos through the canyons
Like the paintings on the walls
Carried over rivers
Chasing waterfalls
Life long companions
Through the sorrows and the joys
No matter what we call it
You’re still Uncles to the boys
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5. |
Country Gold
05:33
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I grew up in dive bars
And honky-tonks
Watching my grandpa playing
For the local drunks
He never wrote a song
But he sings them like his own
With his red cup full of vodka
Making country gold
The smell of cheap beer
And cigarette smoke
Next to the crooked pool tables
Learning dirty jokes
Up way past my bedtime
In the neon glow
I knew when I heard Gary Stewart
It was almost time to go
When he sang…
“An empty glass, My last cigarette
It’s closing time, I’m drunk again
But somehow I’ll make it home
Cry myself to sleep
That’s the way the day ends
Every night for me”
I grew up on dirt roads
And worn cliches
Hearing my Paw Paw’s stories
About the good ole days
“oh boy god I happy”
Tug-o-war I never won
“Well I call it this”
King Kong baby in the morning sun
He got married young
But he never settled down
A Rolling stone forever
Asleep on my grandma’s couch
Taught me my first chords
Before too long I had a song
I could never make them sound like
The songs I heard when I was young
When he sang…
“An empty glass, My last cigarette
It’s closing time, I’m drunk again
But somehow I’ll make it home
Cry myself to sleep
That’s the way the day ends
Every night for me”
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6. |
The Storm
06:58
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Nineteen forty five
After the bombs fell from the sky
The war is over celebrate
Another daughter on the way
Nineteen sixty three
Just barely seventeen
In love and making plans
When he asked your dad for your hand
Nineteen sixty six
Don’t have time for politics
Your first born daughter here at last
A month before your daddy passed
Nineteen eighty six
Your youngest girls done more than kiss
Her future’s over lots of tears
The voice of god in your ears
Don’t you know, you are so strong
You can weather whatever the storm
Face down the darkness before the dawn
Small steps, deep breaths
Just love
Late night Maybe ninety three
He’s doused all her things in gasoline
Backseat waiting, we made it fast
No doubt that you could whoop his ass
Nineteen ninety five
Never bored on our long drive
Playing Scribble games down the highway
You taught me more than I could say
Two thousand three
A single grandma raising me
I know it’s not the life you chose
Teenage angst and punk rock shows
Don’t you know, you are so strong
You can weather whatever the storm
Face down the darkness before the dawn
Small steps, deep breaths
Just love
I never called you mom
But you’re the one who mothered me
You know it’s hard to navigate
That twisted family tree
you’re the woman that raised me
Raised me up with all your might
I know you struggled through heartache
And I gave you a hell of a fight
You Sang me songs every morning
That I still know to this day
you were there for every scrapped knee
For every Scribble on the page
Your the one that tucked me in at night
Held me when I was sad
You’re my one safe place
that I’m forever grateful to have had
Don’t you know, you are so strong
You can weather whatever the storm
Face down the darkness before the dawn
Small steps, deep breaths
Just love
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7. |
Honey Pt. 2
04:12
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Honey pt. 2
Sticks and stones may break your bones
Words can break your heart
The truths a had pill to swallow
But I don’t know where else to start
I tried writing you a song
that said exactly how I felt
It was far too brutal to be shared
So I kept it for myself
The subjects hard to bring up
Every conversation’s weird
So let me articulate my thoughts
I want to finally make them clear
You were a child with a child
And I know that you were scared
I don’t fault you for your timing
Or for you not being there
I think the problem really lies
In insecurity and guilt
I don’t want to be hurtful
I just want to say it like it is
You’re not the one who raised me
I know you wish that wasn’t true
But attachment figures
aren’t just something wishes can undo
It hurts that I can’t just call her up
Or have her stop by to see the kids
Without her worrying about your feelings
Knowing you would take offense
I know she’s trying to protect you
Putting your needs above her own
And It’s hard to argue with
A mother’s sacrificial love
I want you to know tears me up inside
That her only thanks was guilt
For being a mother when you couldn’t
Building a home you couldn’t build
I know
You wish you could rewrite history
you’re worried that you weren’t enough
You wish could straighten this all out
You’re worried I don’t know your love
I’ve never doubted that you love me
And I know you’ve had it rough
But can you put your needs aside for once
And can you love me enough
…To be my second call
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8. |
Howling At The Moon
04:52
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Late nights playing solitaire
Beats the racing thoughts
and ceiling stares
Waiting for the drugs to kick in
Peach hibiscus gummy bears
Adarax we used to share
Leftover medication from our late dog
Sometimes I still feel him there
Got ziplock baggies full of hair
He’s not in that box of ashes up on the shelf
He’s howling at the moon yeah
Sounds like hallelujah
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9. |
Etch A Sketch Black
05:04
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Where the hell do I begin?
How far can I backtrack?
Maybe I’m getting Soft
Or there’s too much to unpack
So thinly veiled it’s see through
Childish like finger paint
While I try to embrace
Our place in time and space
Tried to tally up my sins
I turned the etch-a-sketch black
You keep shaking them off
I keep adding them back
If patience is a virtue
Then you’re a goddamned saint
While I try to erase
All these lines I’ve traced
I’ve tried forking my tongue
But still the truth comes out
Tried to color in the meaning
But my head’s still full of doubts
Saying outlaid
Things that are better left unsaid
Climbed the family tree
Pulled on every thread
Wrote half songs I can’t finish
Wrote full songs I can’t sing
Forcing out the words
Holding on to everything
Time is fast, the years are hard
Playing remember when
If we could do it over
Would we still do it all again?
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