Just stop thinking You’re overthinking it Just turn it off Take another hit But I can’t stop thinking Maybe I’m losing it Oh the profit/loss Need a new permit Be a better dad The mails unread All the friends you had They’ve all moved or dead You’ll get too sad If you pull that thread Find something soft Lay down your head

The sound of cicadas & static From the baby monitor Wake up & try to be pragmatic But looking back it’s all a blur Thought I wanted to inspire Now past the point of no return Putting out fire after fire Should have let the whole thing burn The sound of rain drops & an argument From our backseat little boy Wants windows down he’s bargaining Let’s all scream into the void Maybe my brain should be rewired It’s nothing of great concern Until we’re all singing with the choir Should have let the whole thing burn The sound of your heartbeat in beeps Coming out from the machine Reminds me of waking you from sleep Driving you to class around nineteen All the maintenance that we require Habits I wish we could unlearn All gathered around the campfire We should let the whole thing burn

Don’t set yourself on fire Just to keep Someone else warm Like a sacrificial protest Of a never ending war It’s the truth wrapped in desire When it’s hard to ask for more It’s a sheep that looks like progress A wolf dresses like a whore Tried to call for a cease fire Don’t know who to speak up for A little boy that’s feeling depressed A grown man sleeping on the floor I got compassion fatigue and a shoe that just won’t fit Nicotine dreams A cigarette I can’t get lit I got a backup eulogist on stand by just in case A short list of people I can’t replace Found you someone so pretty Settled for keeping her nearby The thought of happy makes you dizzy Back at the starting line So don’t drown yourself in whiskey If one or two will do just fine You don’t want no-ones pity Just play the roll of the fall guy Keep saying you’re too busy Up on your cross to crucify No one said this would be easy We’re all trying to scrape by I got compassion fatigue And a shoe that just won’t fit Nicotine dreams A cigarette I can’t get lit I got a backup eulogist On stand by just in case A short list of people I can’t replace

Tonight we’re going to party like it’s nineteen ninety nine I’m twelve years old on the phone with a girl that I like Talking about the millennium And the end of days “Hope I don’t die a virgin” Existential cliches. Tonight we’re going to party like it’s two thousand & eight February fourteenth Taking you out on our first date Fancy dinner reservations Pretending like we’re rich Then drinking wine from the bottle Up on the suspension bridge Tonight we’re going to party Like it’s twenty twenty seven Drinking like I’m half my age Still less answers than questions Make a toast, raise a glass Try to say something heartfelt “Forty is just a number That’s what I try to tell myself” Did I misinterpret between the lines Was I dreaming when I wrote this No, I’m sure I’m doing fine At the edge of everyday Is a past and future tug of war We’re the rope and no-ones keeping score Tonight we’re going to party like we’re back in eighty-six My moms a pregnant teenage girl Threatening to slit her wrists My grandma hears the voice of god Saying “it will be okay” “This baby will grow up & be someone special someday” Tonight we’re going to party like it’s two thousand & five A request to appear in a courtroom & meet my dad for the first time I told him “I don’t know you, You don’t owe me a thing” Then we went out for pancakes And sat quiet listening Tonight we’re going to party Like it’s twenty thirty four Our boy has grown into a better man Than I could’ve ever asked for Talking about his future plans “What kind of life do you foresee?” “Maybe you could just move next door, I still need you close to me.” Did I misinterpret between the lines Was I dreaming when I wrote this No, I’m sure I’m doing fine At the edge of everyday Is a past and future tug of war We’re the rope and no-ones keeping score Tonight we’re going to party Like it’s nineteen ninety three In an apartment with my grandma Kind of missed that old rv Telling her how my mom Took me out to take a test So her boyfriend & her Could cash those child support checks Tonight we’re going to party Like it’s two thousand & two I left a candle burning on the shelf And set fire to my room Moved into the Marriott Coffee shop down the street Insurance Bought a new guitar Listening to deja on repeat Tonight we’re going to party Like it’s twenty forty one We’re at your fifty second birthday Getting tipsy on red wine Saying “Man the time sure flies & damn we’re getting old” “Tell that one one more time, That shit‘s pure gold”

Need to make phone calls plan it all out Pay the bills, stuff self doubt Try harder Not to be so hard on me Can you get coffee, I’m running late Dirty dishes, disassociate It gets harder I’d rather be an amputee Got to fix the problems I know aren’t mine Doctors appointments, dollar signs I’ll be a martyr If it makes you proud of me I need help, there’s not enough time It’s hard to ask, just read my mind Things back in order Need a break from reality - I have a tendency To make my therapist cry Sometimes I feel the empathy Sometimes it feels like bullshit It’s probably all bullshit - I miss my friends and to much wine Now just city planners, the bottom line In retrospect This ain’t how you succeed Everything’s a mess, can’t concentrate Words are hard, self medicate Cause & effect Maybe I can finally breathe Does it all point back to a little girl Attachment figures, weight of the world If I’m perfect Everyone will be appeased A few hours past bedtime Body pain, books that rhyme Time to connect Something I believe - I have a tendency To make my therapist cry Sometimes I feel the empathy Sometimes it feels like bullshit It’s probably all bullshit Incidentally I’ve been known to change my mind Maybe I’m done with pleasantries Maybe I’m just losing it It’s probably all bullshit

My phone is dead I can’t call in If I could I don’t know what excuse I’d give My stomachs sick Some other line The truth is I just need to take some time Time for me My mental health Please don’t confuse this as a cry for help Need to make something with my own hands Maybe the paint can make me understand This mess I made We built a kingdom With time and pain It sure looks pretty It’s falling down Left in ruins They’ll say “what a shame, It sure looked pretty” My phone is dead I can’t call you If I could I’d ask you for your point of view What went right? What went wrong? And Find some better words for this song Like I once was blind But now I see Everything’s laid out right in front of me So let’s watch the sunset On the southern land Maybe you can finally make me understand This mess I made We built a kingdom My neurotic brain But It sure looks pretty It’s falling down All my delusions They’ll say “what a shame, It sure looked pretty”

Could be an unintended consequence So I’m holding tight my consciousness While tiny robots Swim through my veins ‘Cause It might take ten thousand years To kick my bucket list and all my fears I’ll give it a shot At least while I’m still sane What I could do with all that time Learn new languages, all their rhymes Sell all my shit Move out to the woods Until I’m wild and I know the land Kill my food with my bare hands Then just sit For as long as I could Live in Copenhagen, make some friends South of France, learn violin Plant a vineyard And just watch it grow Do ayawaska in the Amazon Purge my ego till it’s all gone Search inward A hundred more art shows Go back to get my undergrad Be a better husband, a better dad Take fifty years Build the best treehouse Fifty more learning to simplify Buy a Cessna plane, learn to fly Buy souvenirs Up in northern Laos Finish every project I neglect Go back to school, be an architect Rules Frank obeyed Are ready to be explored Start a band with my closest friends Playing shows on the weekends Spend a decade Writing each record Spend a winter in the sad mid west Rest my head upon your breasts Build a fire Keep each other warm Patagonia, climb the mountain side Iceland, to see the northern lights Sing in a choir Master a new art form My list could go on and on An endless song of all my wants And my fallback I’ll tell you just incase If someday I have to die Make sure the caskets got clean lines Play the first track Off “In A Safe Place”

Some sort of metaphor about your eyes A simile between your thighs Body of water, I capsize Feeling like I’ve been baptized I’ll stay here under the water Ain’t scared that I’m going to drown Fell for the prodigal daughter Feel so lost and so found She said “I don’t really care about your art” “Or if you need to take your head apart” Negotiating towards a zero sum She said “ I just need for you to make me cum” And I want to give you pleasure (Trying to find god) Not leave your field unplowed (Sometimes writing songs) Is it just atmospheric pressure (Capo the third fret) Or something more profound (Forget everything I said) Do you remember the dog bite (The oak trees all grew around) It’s not as long as it seems (Christmas lights we didn’t take down) Our island without traffic lights (Like singing a duet) The year we forgot how to dream (Forget everything I said) We forgot how to dream I’m too high at the dentist Wondering if we really exist Like our lime tree that’s never in bloom Or a badly drawn cartoon Wish I could write something clever (Trying to find god) Delay my nervous breakdown (Sometimes writing songs) Postpone this record forever (Capo the third fret) Just quit or find a new sound (Forget everything I said) Do you remember driving all night (The oak trees all grew around) Taking the dogs to the stream (Christmas lights we didn’t take down) Making love between headlights (Like singing a duet) The year we forgot how to dream (Forget everything I said) We forgot how to dream If this life is so finite We’re salmon swimming up stream Like all the words I should rewrite Let’s overthrow the regime

I just want to let go Want to black out I want no responsibilities Or words coming out my mouth Want to get so fucked up I don’t remember my name I want to stand naked in front of everyone And not feel any shame I just want to let go I just want to let go Know what the story about Let go of possibilities Be free of any doubt Want to drink from this cup Until I don’t feel a thing I want to stand in front of anyone And say what i mean I just want to let go

Everything is such a mess A slow motion train wreck Like a scribble on a page I could always make it into something But I got nothing Never been hung up on success This failure hangs heavy in my chest Like a little ball of rage I could always find the words to sing But I can’t sing Searching for tiny bits of progress Never been this kind of depressed A yellow bird in a cage I could always see the coming spring I can’t see anything I know, I know my life is blessed I’ll just start it all again i guess Working minimum wage I could always learn doublethink but I can’t think Sell all the shit that we posses Debating our change of address Cleanse it all with sage I could always make myself believe I don’t believe Helping you take off your dress It’s a very delicate process A preview of our old age You could always use me like your sling Or your anything If I could time travel to late October Would you just fill in all the gaps? Was there a hostile takeover? Where did we land on the map? Did my head need to be rewired? Did I pull on too many threads? Are there pieces left to be picked up? How many goodbyes have been said? How do we start moving forward? Or should we just start moving back? If we could weave it back together Would we do it all over again? And again and again